We hauled water from the well in five gallon buckets. I pulled two empty five gallon buckets to the electric well pump and filled them with water. My red wagon had seen better days, but was my daily companion. As I filled the buckets and walked slowly back the mobile home tucked about two acres from grandmas house I wondered if the fire would be hot enough to heat the water for baths. You couldn't see Grandma's house from the trailer, but the well was in her front yard so getting water meant going to see her.
I didn't dilly-dally because I knew I was to go and come straight back. I took the time to smell the red roses growing just to the right of the well-house. Grandma came out the screen door and waved with her knowing smile. My small frame began slowly tugging the wagon over the gravel road to the trailer. It was easier where the gravel stopped and the dirt path started. I made my way slowly so I wouldn't slosh water out. That was the only bath water available and I didn't want to make two trips. The avocado green bathtub was small so 10 gallons of hot water plus a little bit of cold water would cover my legs.
I told my sister to get in the tub and undressed. Being naked meant being vulnerable in our house. Tomorrow night I would ask grandma if we could take a bath there. I'd ask in secret and she would casually suggest it over dinner. We had dinner every weekend at Grandmas. The next night I cuddled with Grandma while my mother went to the grocery. I whispered and asked if we could get our bath at her house. We never used bubble bath in the tub because I kept a lot of "infections" and bubble bath was the "cause". My sister and I could fill the tub up to our chests at her house and I was happy to submerge myself in the deep warm water. We got into the tub while the adults had their after dinner talk and the dishes were done. My sister was being loud and I didn't want anyone to come in. I stuck my finger in her face and hissed for her to shut up. She continued to splash water and be loud and I again became very angry and shoved my finger in her face. SHUT UP dammmmi... before I could finish she grabbed my finger between her teeth. She bit like a snapping turtle and wasn't going to let go. I screamed out in pain and she still hung on.
I started to push her head backwards and was trying to pull my finger out as the door slammed open with my mother red faced and angry. I looked at her crying in agony and watched in fear as she jerked my sister out of the tub. Blood filled the water as my sister got her bare naked wet butt spanked. I'd never seen my sister punished and a mixture of guilt and pleasure crept in. I smirked in the tub behind my tears and when I saw my mother looking down at me, turned that smirk into a grimace to cover my tracks. A quick towel dry and band-aid and we recieved our orders to get our pajama's on. We were going home.
Once we were home we climbed into our bunkbeds. She on the bottom and I was on the top. She pressed her feet into the bottom of my mattress and I hung my head over to look at her. "You should have shut up huh"?... Her eyes were filled with anger as she stubbornly said, "You should have kept your finger out of my face, huh?" That night would mark the beginning of a new game. I laid on the top bunk and hatched my plan. I would make her know how much she needed me and how she would miss me. She would pay. I couldn't control anything else in my life, but I could definitely control her.
Over the next year, every time I would call my step-father to me when I saw him approaching her, I would call her out to the yard to play. Every single time I was molested on her behalf, I would wait until she brushed up against me or hit me and then would fall over and hold my breath until she thought I was dead. Until real tears fell from her eyes. I was always at her beck and call because if she got upset... the grownups blamed me. If I carried her on my back from the bus to Grandma's house so she didn't have to walk, I'd later wait for the perfect moment and then would pretend I'd died until she was scared. If she ripped a necklace off my neck, I'd again pretend she killed me. I tortured her for almost a year with the game giggling at how gullible she was to fall for it time and time again.