Sunday, December 27, 2009

Disney and the Garden of Eden

I slept on the top bunk. I wasn't allowed to sleep on the bottom bunk because Asshole couldn't reach me. It was very close to the ceiling and as summer wore on, it would be hotter and hotter up there. One night my mom came in and told me I could just sleep in my panties if I wanted because it was so hot. She must have been out of her fucking mind. Right... I wasn't taking my clothes off in that house without getting in the tub. I refused and wondered why she couldn't figure it out. By now I knew what was going on was wrong, but she was no refuge for me and I didn't know I could do anything about it.

Sometimes I played in the backyard. The neighbor had a dog who lived on a chain. We became friends and the dog jumped around excitedly when I would go out back to talk to him. The dog tripped me with his chain as he wound around my legs and I fell and hit a rock busting my chin. I ran into the house crying and my mom took me to get stitches. I didn't care. My mom was being nice and I'd happily cut my chin, my toe, or anything else to see that side of her. I thought my mom and I were making friends until she announced a few days later that she and Asshole were going to Disney World and I was going to stay with the Auntie. WTF. Why the fuck is she going to Disney without me. For the first time, I started to hate her. I was just nothing to her and I knew it. She said she'd bring me some Mickey Mouse ears, but really? Who gives a fuck about your Mickey Mouse ears.

I spent the week with Auntie who was also clearly pissed my mom didn't take me with her. She was nice enough to me. I was disappointed, but whatever. I played with my cousin and sister and knew no one was going to punish my butt that week.

When they came back I threw the Mickey Mouse ears in my closet and never EVER gave her the pleasure of seeing me wear them. I loved Mickey Mouse and Disney though and would secretly put them on in my closet and sing MIC-KEY M-O-U-S-E. I still love Disney and I'm certain one day I'll get off my ass and take myself there.

Mom decided that she was going to make it up to me and take me to the Garden of Eden. Mormon's believe that Adam and Eve came to existence in Missouri. Yep, I said Missouri. Really who gave a shit? If there was a God, maybe I'll meet him in the Garden. We traveled there with two young missionary boys who were very nice and proper. Everything was proper when other people were around. When we got to the "Garden", the adults went on and on about Adam and Eve and all that bullshit. From what I could see, we were just standing in the woods. I waited for the "spirit" to tell me it was true and that I was standing on "Holy Ground". I pulled a tick off my arm and just rolled my eyes. God wasn't here and neither was Mickey Mouse. Fuck this place.

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