Why are you pooping snow again?
Don't you know I have to wear dress shoes today... smile all day after you get the bottom of my dress pants wet?
Why have you pooped your white doo doo on my car windows? Don't you see I can barely get in it from all the McDonald's bags my daughter left in it when she borrowed it for the last three weeks? and now you want to bury it in your icy grip?
Don't you know that my son needs to go to school because he's a messy fart and will vegetate in front of a video game all day while I'm trudging out into your cold hug?
I know you think you're pretty... I think you're pretty too, but you need a reality check because you're only pretty for the first snow of the season and then you're just annoying.
So seriously, I'm sick of you and want you to go back to Michigan or somewhere people are expecting you every few minutes. Thanks!!